Interesting. I'm currently in the throes of all things educational + law. A graduate course* which has consumed my thoughts my entire spring break, but has brought me to three important realizations.
#1. I feel somewhat cheated by my education on all things constitutional. Oh sure I grasp the concepts of how our country was established and founded, but if it weren't for Schoolhouse Rock, the jingles I made up to remember those first colonial denominations ( think George Michael's "Faith") and the stick-figure illustrated Bill of Rights booklet made as an example for my first classroom of 5th graders, my in-depth knowledge would be even more sparse than it is. I'll bet an illegal alien applying for citizenship is required to know the ins and outs of our government more than I. Perhaps I'm exaggerating a bit, I loved memorizing events for, and acing, my American History tests, (Thank you, Mrs. Milligan and Pulley, you taught me well!) but I humble myself as an American and admit I should have a broader wealth of recall of the document in its entirety.
Realization #2. None of the above matters all that much because I am fortunate enough to live in a time when any information needed is only a click away. The 9th Wonder of the World, the Information Superhighway is at my fingertips and I'm in a highway hypnosis. Gone are the days of the card catalog, and the oh so sweet aroma of the aged and faintly yellowed tabbed cardstock. Straining one's eyes to read a blurred microfilm after consulting two other sources to locate it? fuhgettaboutit. Like sands through the hourglass so are the sites that I visit, ( and the sources I consult via digital text, email, etc.) The road takes twist and turns and you can't always trust the signs, but it's there to suck -er take- me in, and to, wherever I need to go- thank God .
Thanking God...which brings me to realization #3. The State of Texas has issued me a teaching certificate (decades or so ago but who's counting?) and I work in a public school funded in part by federal monies, which makes me an agent of the government. Who knew? I can't help but start bobbing my head and singing Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man"...only I'm not a man, and my job is not secret, or all that mysterious. (Aside from the surprised student face when spotted at the grocery store in a pair of yoga pants sans full makeup--dispels belief and gets 'em every time.) But it appears I have to keep the one thing that gets me out of bed each morning; gives me strength to deal with complexities of students, colleagues, parents, and days when the diet Coke man hasn't restocked the vending machine: my FAITH in God, to myself. As a government agent, I can observe my moment of silence each day by asking my Heavenly Father for guidance and the wherewithal to not be distracted by students who arrive in need of a bath and clean clothes. I can thank Him in private and talk to other teachers about my beliefs on my leisurely lunch break...But if a group of students gathered for a Bible study, technically I should not join them. When a student asks me if I go to the church across from Wal-Mart when he has seen me while driving by, I shouldn't invite him to come to Sunday School- even as I see the need for such a place in the sadness of his eyes.
As a government agent I cannot encourage nor discourage any religious activity. But am I not a citizen protected under the First Amendment , well, first? I'm not asking permission to proselytize or strike up a version of "I'll Fly Away" at a pep rally. But if students are gathered on a September morning around the flagpole praying for their school and even me....am I an agent of the government or a humbly flawed human just like them? It's best if I stay away...it is to be their ( the students') event. I get all that. They are not supposed to know..the big secret..that I believe in God. When the very thing I wish I could do is share it with them. Not infringe my beliefs, not convert them..just perhaps shine some proverbial light in their, for some, otherwise dark lives. It doesn't take a school psychologist to know which kids come from a home where the only mention of 'god' precedes an expletive of some sort.
I'm reminded of a campfire song and the refrain of which I chanted many times in my youth. "Yes they'll know we are Christians by our love..." Agent or not, this is what God has, gulp, called me to do. Rise up 180 some odd days of the year and relate to these future fellow Americans. And while they may not ever see me praying for them, may they know".. by my love, by my love."
*(Yes, grad school: the self discovery (and a dash of self doubt) for which I am paying thousands. The constant reminder that lecture really is the least effective way to learn new information. Surrounding one's self with a few pompous professionals who already know everything; for whom taking the class is a mere formality, as well as a few kindred spirits experiencing the same befuddlement as I. Throw in some intermittent adult onset ADD symptom(s) surfacing at the most inopportune times and a heavy dose of thoughts and revelations compelling me to blog in the middle of the night. Yes, grad school--good stuff.)
Well said, save for the why. I too am a governmental agent,banned from participation in student belief exercises and for marketing my own belief system. I believe that is a good thing. Suppose I am agnostic and think all this God talk scares and demoralizes kids. Imagine that I am articlate in the atheistic jargon and kids know and respect me. Want me to join with kids whom I teach at the pole to raise another voice, another belief? To challenge their belief as an adult role model? Think not. When I put on my tax-paid uniform to become a public servant, I am an arm of the government, I shift from the role of independent automomous American to one that is paid to enforce our ideals, via court interpretations, of our rights, whether I like them or agree with them or not.
ReplyDeleteLoved the blog, especially the yoga/make-up part! Wear a name tag.