musings with a dash of melancholy...

October

Tufts of softness sprinkled across the expanse,

Eliciting sense of wintry wishes

That may never fall

Drooping vanilla contrast chocolate stalks

Stem upholding boll

Flying flocks pasted on pale blue canvass

Illuminated distantly by dwindling warmth

Imperceptibly yet imminent,

Season tiptoes into place,

A subtle nudge to appreciate all behind us;

Anticipate promises of growth and rebirth,

Acknowledge there can be not light without dark

Dots of gold pepper fields as sunlight fades

Each day a tad sooner while breezes

Caress flesh a bit more prickly

Emerald color crawls down and away

Replaced by absence of hue, but not of life

Drowsy landscapes prepare for slumber

Emotions stir and crackle as kindling in fire

The stark horizon providing an opaque surface

Through which reflection slows the pace,

If but for a briefest of glances...

My moral GPS...where am I exactly?

Finishing out my summer with an ethics course taught by a delightful professor who, for our final assignment, asked us to draft our own personal codes of ethics. Hmmm. Perhaps not everyone really wants to know what I really believe, or always on what I base my decisions. So I had to get serious, a mammoth task, my friends, and really think about what guides me, what I value, and what I believe. Being a bit of a word-aholic it was difficult to succinctly say what I felt. I had to meet a deadline and turn in my composition, yet it still feels unfinished. I suppose because I am torn between what I feel I should believe and ways I conduct myself, and how I am in real life. Too, it is difficult to encompass every entity that ethically I might encounter. How does one lay out a complete blanket of his or her beliefs without smothering the readers? Eh...take a deep breath....

What guides me? My life's experiences have resulted in a mosaic of my self, albeit ever-changing. I'm guided by about what I feel passionate, including foremost, the belief that I am not in control of my life or world. My Creator has ultimate power in that. What I can control is how I perceive and react to my environment and circumstances. I know I am human and flawed, yet am aware of my obligation to give love freely just as my Savior does for me. Each person has his or her gifts; is precious, yet imperfect. I must be careful not to judge, as I do not wish to be judged by others. Love your enemies; their evil comes from a place of hurt and sadness.

Growing up, I quickly understood there must be an investment of time and effort to earn desired things. Consequently, I also learned to carefully choose and set attainable goals. Very little was handed to me as my parents tried to instill early on a work ethic that, as a child was difficult to grasp, but now I proudly find invaluable. The importance of education was also impressed upon me, not just by means of a classroom, but by observing and enjoying the many resources afforded one, if time is taken to appreciate them.

I continue to thrive on personal success and accomplishments on which I set my sights. Moreover, I find myself striving to excel in my endeavors, motivated by healthy competition with a heaping dose of intrinsic motivation. Most fortunately, I was allowed to mature in a home where acceptance was given, taught, with undue pressure to succeed absent. Instead I lived in a place where love abounded, even when money or material things didn't. This often, however, created within me an internal struggle as the world is not so accepting and loving, thus creating a desire prove my worth.

As a result of my life experiences, these are what I value:

Humility: Perfection is unattainable. It is okay to admit you are wrong or that you don't know something while still projecting confidence in yourself. Share your gifts but continue to identify and strengthen that which needs improvement. You need not tell others how great you are, as your actions will lead others see it for themselves. It is okay to have drive and to some degree, an ego, but being humble will allow you to have an impact on others that could be life-changing.

Tolerance: We are all inherently unique and different. We must respect and extend understanding of others even when it conflicts with our own beliefs. Actions stem from places of emotion and convictions. Seek ways to connect with those with whom we see little in common.

Commitment/Tenacity: Pride in ones' work is evident and telling. What you have taken the time to do, should be done to the best of your abilities. Consult others, accept their ideas and constructive criticism be tireless in your efforts towards personal and mandated goals.

Professionalism: Show tact and decorum to meet any given situation. Keep a dignity about yourself and the surrounding in which you work. Strive to make equitable and integrous decisions. Don't allow emotions to dictate your actions or words without a proper rationale of thought. Be mindful of who and what you are representing in all that is conducted.

And finally...

Humor: Enjoy what you do and the people you are with! Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. Be aware of situations that need levity! Laughter has the power to connect and even heal. Use it with care- but find amusement whenever possible.

What I believe....

*Education is a mission. Those who feel called to the cause of influencing the future, including leaders, should be willing share visions and be motivated by the values thereof. One in the field must be willing to unite for the greater cause. Ethically, one must put aside personal differences and judgments that interfere or compromise the mission.

*Teach kids content, not content to kids. I believe the responsibility of educators is to work tirelessly towards successfully reaching students' needs- academic and intellectual. Be mindful of dignity among children when helping them learn. Even with convictions about subject matter, flexibility and willingness to try new approaches and strategies MUST be an attribute. Respect the backgrounds and upbringing of each individual and not hold against any one individual the knowledge he or she has or lacks.

*My ethic is leadership as stewardship. Decisions should be based on morals (with adherence to all laws, rules or policies) ; including commitment to, and awareness of , the importance of our roles as educators. That should be the guiding force and motivations for deciding what is ultimately best for kids. In the process, I personally have expectations of those I lead and am not “above” doing any of the jobs asked of my colleagues. While a a leader is empowered by authority, it is to be used wisely and humbly but with resolution clearly communicated.

*Relationships are crucial to success. Fostering investment in outcomes and goals of the entity is key! The educator guides others to help create solutions or ideas and build rapport with those who follow; thereby invoking support for what they have helped create. Abstain from “writing off” anyone; and exhaust all efforts to find the positive attributes of others. Time to forge connections must be made.

*We must grow and develop like any other professional. I cannot claim to be an ultimate expert or have mastery of any aspect of this profession. I stay committed to the development of my craft by keeping myself apprised of practices and ideas, both well established and on the forefront- with the mindset that learning is never finished. The world in which our school reside is ever-evolving. Educators should serve as resources, mentors to others, and help realize strengths and weaknesses through reflection and collegial discussion. Conversely, we will make mistakes; and should value the learning experience they thereby create.

* Education is empowerment. The far-reaching influences of educators and their leaders exceeds the walls of any campus. We are given standards for which we are accountable for by the state and nation and have been charged with helping students attain knowledge and skills. A true professional knows how to facilitate others with this goal, but also maintains a vision beyond the day or school year. He or she sees the power and potential embodied by professional learning communities and has the means and wherewithal to not lose sight of the heart of schools: the students and staff.

Afterword....

I often recall one of my first geometry lessons in elementary school when the teacher proclaimed that a true line never ends- it continues forever in either direction. My younger brain struggled with the concept. Now further into my life's journey, I clearly grasp the notion of continuity especially as it relates to learning. With such infinite lengths,those called to be a part of communities that teach share a passion for imparting knowledge, ideas, understandings, and appreciation for the world around them. Moreover, those called to walk the never-ending line must be prepared to invest time to understand those with whom they work and instruct, be it in a public school setting or any other setting. Teaching is a respected profession and position IF the individuals choosing to take part uphold the understood standards set by our predecessors . Conversely, along the line of education come decisions; an innumerable amount of choices to be made. A simple scientific principal resurfaces: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Ethically, as both a human being and a teacher, considering the effects of one's choices is a moral responsibility that is not to be taken lightly. Many a plaque and poster have read “Teaching is a work of heart.” One must remember that it is not only his or her heart with which the work will take place. Education involves constant human interaction. And as human are inherently precious and flawed, their differences extend infinitely in either direction.

Greetings from your fellow government agent...

Interesting. I'm currently in the throes of all things educational + law.   A graduate course* which has consumed my thoughts my entire spring break,  but has brought me to three important realizations.


 #1. I feel somewhat cheated by my education on all things constitutional. Oh sure I grasp the concepts of how our country was established and founded, but if it weren't for Schoolhouse Rock, the jingles I made up to remember those first colonial denominations ( think George Michael's "Faith") and the stick-figure illustrated Bill of Rights booklet made as an example for my first classroom of 5th graders, my in-depth knowledge would be even more sparse than it is. I'll bet an illegal alien applying for citizenship is required to know the ins and outs of our government more than I. Perhaps I'm exaggerating a bit, I loved memorizing events for, and acing, my American History tests, (Thank you, Mrs. Milligan and Pulley, you taught me well!) but I humble myself as an American and admit I should have a broader wealth of recall of the document in its entirety.

Realization #2. None of the above matters all that much because I am fortunate enough to live in a time when any information needed is only a click away. The 9th Wonder of the World, the Information Superhighway is at my fingertips and I'm in a highway hypnosis. Gone are the days of the card catalog, and the oh so sweet aroma of the aged and faintly yellowed tabbed cardstock. Straining one's eyes to read a blurred microfilm after consulting two other sources to locate it? fuhgettaboutit.  Like sands through the hourglass so are the sites that I visit, ( and the sources I consult via digital text, email, etc.)  The road takes twist and turns and you can't always trust the signs, but it's there to suck -er take- me in, and to, wherever I need to go- thank God .

Thanking God...which brings me to realization #3. The State of Texas has issued me a teaching certificate (decades or so ago but who's counting?) and I work in a public school funded in part by federal monies, which makes me an agent of the government. Who knew? I can't help but start bobbing my head and singing Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man"...only I'm not a man, and my job is not secret, or all that mysterious. (Aside from the surprised  student  face when spotted at the grocery store in a pair of yoga pants sans full makeup--dispels belief and gets 'em every time.) But it appears I have to keep the one thing that gets me out of bed each morning; gives me strength to deal with complexities of students, colleagues, parents, and days when the diet Coke man hasn't restocked the vending machine: my FAITH in God, to myself.  As a government agent, I can observe my moment of silence each day by asking my Heavenly Father for guidance and the wherewithal  to not be distracted  by students who arrive in need of a bath and clean clothes. I can thank Him in private and talk to other teachers about my beliefs on my leisurely lunch break...But if a group of students gathered for a Bible study, technically I should not join them.  When a student asks me if I go to the church across from Wal-Mart when he has seen me while driving by, I shouldn't invite him to come to Sunday School- even as I see the need for such a place in the sadness of his eyes.
As a government agent I cannot encourage nor discourage any religious activity. But am I not a citizen protected under the First Amendment , well, first? I'm not asking permission to proselytize or strike up a version of "I'll Fly Away" at a pep rally. But if students are gathered on a September morning around the flagpole praying for their school and even me....am I an agent of the government or a humbly flawed human  just like them? It's best if I stay away...it is to be their ( the students') event. I get all that. They are not supposed to know..the big secret..that I believe in God. When the very thing I wish I could do is share it with them. Not infringe my beliefs, not convert them..just perhaps shine some proverbial light in their, for some, otherwise dark lives. It doesn't take a school psychologist to know which kids come from a home where the only mention of 'god' precedes an expletive of some sort.

I'm reminded of a campfire song and the refrain of which I chanted many times in my youth. "Yes they'll know we are Christians by our love..." Agent or not, this is what God has, gulp, called me to do. Rise up 180 some odd days of the year and relate to these future fellow Americans. And while they may not ever see me praying for them, may they know".. by my love, by my love."


*(Yes, grad school: the self discovery (and a dash of self doubt) for which I am paying thousands. The constant reminder that lecture really is the least effective way to learn new information. Surrounding one's self with a few pompous professionals who already know everything;  for whom taking the class is a mere formality, as well as a few kindred spirits experiencing the same befuddlement as I.   Throw in some intermittent adult onset ADD symptom(s) surfacing at the most inopportune times and a heavy dose of thoughts and revelations compelling me to blog in the middle of the night. Yes, grad school--good stuff.)

Put me in coach...

So I am not a sports buff by any stretch, but  I just read a thought provoking article about teacher evaluation that challenges us to think less about measuring or rating a teacher and focus efforts on developing teachers by strengthening their skills; fundamentals, if  you will.  The author proposed:
 " To improve the team, you don't study the scoreboard; you go out and practice. (Bambrick-Santoyo, 2012)."
For too many years we have tried to rate teachers without coaching them how to achieve the goals. The article gives us a glimpse of  a weekly debriefing between a first year teacher and her principal.  The teacher is praised for what she is doing but together they find one area that the teacher could improve upon. A concrete goal is then set and the principal explicitly guides the teacher on how to meet it. The principal will then return the following week to see the objective being carried. out. Now my first reaction to a weekly meeting was something like this: Feasible -0, Unlikey-50... Not to mention  the difficulty of  hearing on regular basis that you are lacking in one area. But I read on.  The author continued his sports analogy by saying he has coached hundreds of teachers and pointed out that: "The best coaches don't spend their efforts parsing the most accurate way to 'steal' a ball, they spend it training players how to improve their footwork so they can avoid an opposing player stealing the ball in the first place ( Bambrick-Santoyo, 2012)." If the summative evaluation is the championship game; there has to be some practice sessions along the way.  The author believes that if the focus remains on coaching,  the weekly scheduled debriefings will shift from find what's "wrong" with the teacher, but rather how the teacher is continuing to grow and develop! Still, once a week? Well if you look at Marzano's well researched model of evaluation, there are 41 strategies to measure teacher effectiveness. There is no doubt he and his professional team have put together a comprehensive list of what is going to "work".  But how realistic is it to believe that all 41 could be observed in one class period? How realistic is it to think we could master ALL of them? I know if and when I become an evaluator myself,  I want my hard working employees to know how wonderful and appreciated their efforts are. Aside from verbal praise the most recognized form of that would come in the documentation of a yearly evaluation. Everyone likes and needs to hear and know they are approved of by their superiors. We all undoubtedly give it all we've got on observation day and that is admirable. But the simple truth is we must humble ourselves and know that to truly be effective and have our students improve on performance, we must improve ourselves. We get caught up in the pressing matters of the day, grading period, impending high-stakes testing, etc. We often lose sight of best practices and treat each day like a drill: survive it without injury ( be it physical or mental!). Should we not approach each experience, semester, year as sweat-drenching training session? We may leave exhausted, but know what we still have to work on. Another reason to support frequently being observed? Amabile and Kramer have researched and found that, “...when workers-teachers included-sense they are making steady, measurable progress , their workplace satisfaction soars and their performance greatly improves (Amabile and Kramer, 2011).  Research has shown that shorter, frequent observations permit observers to see a much bigger sample of teaching; five to ten minutes is long enough time to sense the nature of learning that is going on. The more observations the better, the more conversation the better ( Danielson, 2002). So if we want to win, are we willing to take the time to coach our players? How can we afford not to? The more skilled the players, the stronger the team?

References
Amabile, T. & Kramer, S. (2011). The progress principle: Using small wins to ignite joy, engagement, and creativity at work. Cambridge, MA: Harvard Business Review. 

Bambrick-Sanotoyo, Paul. (2012). Beyond the scoreboard. Educational Leadership, Volume 7 (Number 3), 27-30. 

Danielson, C. (2002). Enhancing student achiemement: A framework for school improvement. Alexandria, VA: ASCD

Marzano, R., Frontier, T., & Livingston, D. (2011). Effective supervision: Supporting the art and science of teaching. Alexandria, VA: ASCD

Value-Added...is that like a coupon or something?

Umm, no, it's a pretty, packaged name for a 'model' that uses student performance on standardized tests as a means to evaluate a teacher's effectiveness...pardon my Wayne's World lingo, "Assphincter says what?" Sigh. It's out there and it's being researched. I had to subject my eyes and mind to some text about it as part of my graduate coursework in educational supervision.  Here's what I choked down:

The concept of making student learning (as evidenced by standardized test performance gain) is also referred to as “Value-Added Models”. It is meant to be a tool to evaluate student performance in correlation to teacher effectiveness using statistics to observe the changes in student performance over time. Anyone in education can quickly and succinctly tell you what a student can gain over years cannot be attributed to a test or even one teacher, for that matter. Here are some drawbacks and pitfalls to the concept as noted through various studies:

-there is a myriad of other factors that cannot be measured including a student's home life, culture and peers, school size and facilities, past teachers and in some cases, schools, and the test itself.

-the data is incredibly varied and depends on the statistical model used

-tying test scores to teacher evaluation can result in harmful effects; teaching to the test, compromising other learning

-teachers cannot control what students are placed in their classroom ( ELLs, SpecEd, GT, etc)and often the “better” teachers are given these students whose success might not be genuinely reflected in test scores!

-one teacher can hardly be responsible for all of a student's learning- there are effects from years and teachers before.

-tying monetary bonuses to teacher evaluation in VAMs , only produces good test takers

-when a test score becomes the objective, how can hey be used to measure a teacher's overall effectiveness?

With all these factors, there is simply not enough to support that supervisors and administrators that a Value-Added Model should be used for crucial decisions regarding teachers; it should not be the basis for whether or not a teacher is effective.

While I wholeheartedly agree with all of the above, and do not wish to be judged by how well my students do on their tests, the fact remains that the state and federal government do rate our schools by such and really, really think those scores are the bee's knees.  I work in a small district. When I taught 6^th grade reading, I was the ONLY person, aside from the resource teacher who serviced less than five students, who taught 6^th grade reading. I knew I would be judged at least informally, by how well those 6^th graders performed. While it was incredibly stressful, it DID drive me to achieve success with my students. I took pride and ownership in how well they did and felt responsibility and guilt when they did not. Now I work with all three grade levels and while my "name" may not be on the line, my job is. I'd rather chew on tinfoil and roll around in a bathtub full of thumbtacks than be told that we did not meet AYP in reading yet again. I know the scant ELAR team with whom I share a campus are busting their behinds to ensure success. 

And as bad as I cringe to say it, the test, at least in Texas should drive instruction because it IS testing the STANDARDS set forth by the state to be taught. But-- success on a test lies NOT with a single teacher! It has to be a campus-wide, aligned, collaborative, meeting of the minds, “Let's-do-this” task! Everyone has to contribute to student success in the areas of literacy and logic. Reading is not a skill confined to one class period. Math is applied across disciplines. How do we evaluate those efforts towards a campus goal? 

Woah-oh-oh Sweet job o' mine...

After 16 years in the same classroom teaching the same subject,  a new position at my campus opened up; and after careful consideration consisting of  inhaling heaping hanfuls of NIlla wafers followed by a two-mile "guilt-jog", I decided I would like to try it. It involves working with all three grade levels, helping kids who struggle with reading, for what I have learned can be a variety of reasons and factors. I quickly signed up for summer trainings and pondered the set- up of the classroom and then took a little time to cogitate over it all. Here is an attempt to describe it.

Ahhh.   While basking in the glory of doing nothing and resting afterwards that IS summer,  I caught wind of a mildly popular country music video and song of which I couldn’t help but take notice. Kenny Chesney may be balding, but does faded, ripped up jeans such justice! And Tim McGraw, claiming tightly to his youthfulness, doing an above average job I might add, isn’t too hard to take a gander at either. So there they were wielding their guitars and shiny cowboy hats crooning about doing “what makes ya feel like a rock star!”

Hmm. I’m a card-carrying member (Member’s Only-like the jackets, ha ha!) of the 1980’s and all its glory of big hair, guy-liner and riffs that still stick in one’s head…eight- six -seven, five- three -ohhh niiiine. AND, I’ve watched a LOT of episodes of Behind the Music- I know Motley Crue’s life stories almost by heart.   And any airhead could tell ya while being a rock star may be lucrative and provide life of excess- it’s dramatic turns are almost always undeniably ugly. Downward spirals of substance abuse, media exploits,  hotel trashing,  brushes with the law. Oh, and untimely and preventable death. So why would you want to feel like a rock star?

I get it…millions of screaming scantily clad members of the opposite sex, mostly…reaching desperately for but a drop of your sweat. Being idolized and loved by throngs. Getting up on a stage and being paid, quite handsomely, for doing what you love.

I’ll take the last part. The very last one.

And even though the video would be not quite so enthralling, I would rather sing about my profession, my calling, what I get up and do for one hundred and eighty some odd days of the year.

Forget rock star, “ Do what makes ya fell like a reading in-ter-ventionnnn-iiiist” . Guitar solo, dramatic drums, pyrotechnics, lasers and such: and the crowd goes WIIIILLLD!!!

Well maybe not the crowd, but hey …I now have the two quietest-as-a-mouse kids having full blown conversations with me! Academic vocabulary is flowing like AquaNet in my little classroom, the thinking more rampant than alcohol at a Guns and Roses backstage party!  We set learning goals, we reflect, we think, we talk about thinking, and we LIKE it! So maybe I’m not asked to sign any caps, shirts, or body parts…but being told “I can actually learn in here.”, and being begged “Can I stay in here???”-well that’s more valuable to me than a backstage Bon Jovi pass. (Ok so I went through a little teeny feathered-bang infatuation). So do what makes you feel like a ( insert dream job here.) I promise you’ll want to sing about it!

 Just stay away from leather pants.

not so terse verse...

A Poem in a Post--Blogetry? Bloetry? perhaps a Bloem? 

Longfellow or Dickinson I'm not and at this even Dr. Seuss would probably blow snot...

The greatest compliment ever given to me

By someone OTHER than my family,

Was not "You look nice today!"

(Guess yesterday was just okay?)

"Cute purse! -- "Lovely shoes!"

Even those words won't transfuse

a cure to lighten the occasional blues.

It wasn't "Your hair's so cute like that!"

( It only took two hours to make it flat.)

"I like your outfit."?

(Why, it's only the oldest in my closet.)

Nah...

The statement that's made me feel replete

comes from a child

And I revel in receipt.

Feeling bewildered, a bit besotted and THEN

" Hey, Miss! ,

I wanna be

in YOUR class

again!"

What more candid words

could a teacher hope to hear

from a student of a previous year.